This week we met this voluntarily excommunicated member for dinner. His wife is less active and they have a young daughter. He went on a mission, loved it, had a superb testimony, but then “found out” that the Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith’s story, and Mormonism isn’t true. He spouted off a few of problems he ran into and about how even B. H. Roberts, a general authority, questioned the gospel right before he died in his book Studies of the Book of Mormon. The ex-member explained how after reading only the scriptures and doctrines of the Book of Mormon and modern day prophets, he found that it had holes and overlapping evidence that could prove it was just a story or a copy from other similar sects like some United Church in Korea where a farm boy prayed and had a similar experience story to Joseph Smith. He used the differences in doctrine from the 1830 publication of the Book of Mormon to the modern one to say it doesn’t add up why prophets changed God’s words.
All in all this made me question my testimony. I really asked myself, as I have never thought to truly ponder it before—what if the church isn’t true? What if it was all part made up and part of 1 Nephi were discovered to have been written by Parley P. Pratt (as the ex-member had said and researched)? Why would it be possible to research your way out of the church if it were actually the “one true church?” Wouldn’t God prevent that from happening? This was my first “faith-shaking” experience on my mission and boy, it was startling.
So I took the challenge to my faith to heart. While this ex-member clearly stated, he did not wish to offend or even convince others it wasn’t true or say that he found out it wasn’t by any anti-Mormon literature at all—cause he didn’t. Rather I worked to test my testimony, to ask God if it is true. After talking with my companion about the things he had brought up after dinner, that was my first indication that God was talking to me, reaffirming my testimony. Obviously these are some important reasons we, as missionaries, serve in two’s.
Next I started to study, study, study the Book of Mormon and its validity through the Quad and in the Ensign of October 2011 on the Book of Mormon and the General Conference addresses in the recent Ensign. Even your most recent letter containing advice from the scriptures and the talk “Sharing the Gospel by God’s Ways Rather than Man’s” by Clayton Christensen helped me immensely. Everything I have been reading, teaching, studying, and pondering has only given me feelings of resounding and reassuring comfort. Thoughts like “How could it not be true? It just makes sense.” Pop into my mind all the time now.
I still wanted to solidify my testimony more. My thirst for the knowledge of the truth could not be satisfied. After all, the ex-member had questioned the methods of the church in creating laws and ordinances, both in the temple and outside. He said that Christ dispelled all laws with the law of Moses when he fulfilled it and so the church is wrong to make you do certain things in the temple to receive or obtain exaltation. Temples have always been the base and strength of my testimony. If temples weren’t valid, my testimony should surely crumble. So I needed to do one last thing to verify all the witnesses I have been receiving every day in studying—pray, ask God who knows all if this is true.
And to no surprise of mine, I have felt a constant pressing towards the strength of my testimony. There is no denying the influence and impressions I have all the time now. I cannot ever begin to think about denying the gospel without overwhelming feelings of joy and happiness and understanding of the doctrines of Christ’s church glowing freely and bursting out of me. Everything in the gospel teaches nothing save that which is good—and that which is good is of God. Doctrine and Covenants 50 clearly stated my discovery. This ex-member tried reasoning and trusting as man does, not as God does. Maybe I’ll have him read this:
10 And now come, saith the Lord, by the Spirit, unto the elders of his church, and let us reason together, that ye may understand;
11 Let us reason even as a man reasoneth one with another face to face.
12 Now, when a man reasoneth he is understood of man, because he reasoneth as a man; even so will I, the Lord, reason with you that you may understand.
13 Wherefore, I the Lord ask you this question—unto what were ye ordained?
14 To preach my gospel by the Spirit, even the Comforter which was sent forth to teach the truth. [I understand now more fully my purpose.]
15 And then received ye spirits which ye could not understand, and received them to be of God; and in this are ye justified?
16 Behold ye shall answer this question yourselves; nevertheless, I will be merciful unto you; he that is weak among you hereafter shall be made strong. [That’s me!]
17 Verily I say unto you, he that is ordained of me and sent forth to preach the word of truth by the Comforter, in the Spirit of truth, doth he preach it by the Spirit of truth or some other way?
18 And if it be by some other way it is not of God.
19 And again, he that receiveth the word of truth, doth he receive it by the Spirit of truth or some other way?
20 If it be some other way it is not of God.
21 Therefore, why is it that ye cannot understand and know, that he that receiveth the word by the Spirit of truth receiveth it as it is preached by the Spirit of truth?
22 Wherefore, he that preacheth and he that receiveth, understand one another, and both are edified and rejoice together.
23 And that which doth not edify is not of God, and is darkness.
24 That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day.
25 And again, verily I say unto you, and I say it that you may know the truth, that you may chase darkness from among you;
26 He that is ordained of God and sent forth, the same is appointed to be the greatest, notwithstanding he is the least and the servant of all.
(Doctrine and Covenants 50:10–26)
Then the chapter continues to tell how missionaries are given “power to overcome all things which are not ordained of him.” I am “the least and the servant of all” but Jesus is also “the possessor of all things. . .sent forth by the will of the Father, through Jesus Christ, his son.”
I am further strengthened and comforted by Christ’s last words in the section—“I am in your midst, and I am the good shepherd, and the stone of Israel. He that buildeth upon this rock shall never fall. And the day cometh that you shall hear my voice and see me, and know that I am. Watch, therefore, that ye may be ready. Even so. Amen.”
I know that the gospel is true. I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior. I know that Joseph Smith is His revelator and prophet who restored His church to the earth. I know that the Book of Mormon is true. Everyone should read it! I know that the laws and ordinances and blessings of the temple are true and are from God. Take this as a testimony to all who read this—I know with all my heart and you can, too. Take Moroni’s promise (Moroni 10:3-5) and the invitation in the introduction of the Book of Mormon and find out for yourself. I have and I have felt nothing but extreme joy.
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